20160 Minutes

2 weeks; 14 days; 336 hours; 20160 minutes; 1209600 seconds....

However you measure it, that's how long it's been since I wrote my last blog.

That's a day short of how long it has been since I met who I believe to be the love of my life.

Don't ask me how I know. It's nothing you haven't read in cheezy love novels, or even status updates of 16 year olds on facebook. However, I've come to learn that even the most in-love, iconic, "perfect" couples are still learning what love is to them. When you meet someone new and start to develop feelings for them, you start telling each other you love each other. Then something tragic happens and you part. You try to erase them from your past and realize that it wasn't love. Then the next one comes along and the process repeats.

However, I think if I were to be truely honest with myself, (and perhaps if you were with yourself too...) I could look at all my past "loves" and realize that although I had strong feelings towards them, I never came to the state of "not being able to see myself without them." I could see myself with any one of them but Brian...well, Brian I can't see myself without. In a matter of two weeks he has made a home in my heart and not just him but his son, his mom, his dad, his sister, his brother, his friends, hell even his dogs!

Call me crazy but I just know I'm going to marry this guy. I've gained a new family, new friends, the love of my life and a new perspective on my life. As it's probably been noted by my previous blogs, I was severely depressed before I met him. I had given up on God, Love, Family and ever being a successful human being.

But now....well, now I'm just plain excited. I realize that everything in my life up til now has just been shaping me to become the person I am today which just happens to be the one that Brian fell in love with and that's all that seems to matter to me right now. He gives me courage, hope, joy, life and even thrill.

He's my best friend and my lover. I can't wait to live a wonderful life with this man and I've only known him for 20160-ish minutes.

And Suddenly the World Seemed So Far Away

Where to begin, I'm not even sure. As apparent in my last blog, I'm not a hopeless romantic. Until now I've felt like Van Gogh...rejected by God and Love with nothing left but my art. And my art doesn't even make me millions. But me as I am today has found me in the presence of someone who has changed how I look at connections, flirtations, relationships, expectations, and realizations. I'm an open-minded person but I'm trying to learn how to read people regarding who is good for me and who isn't. I always end up being so wrong. I was so wrong about him. He was open and up-front. He lives an honest life-style and does what he can to get by. I was afraid he was just like all the others but he's not. Hmmm song lyrics will help me explain what I feel for this guy. My brain is too twitterpated to connect my thoughts in an educated fashion.

-You were meant to be near me and I want you to hear me say we'll be together everyday.
-Dont pass me by, don't make mecry, don't make me blue cause you know darlin I love only you.
-Take a look around and see that you and me are meant to be.
-I want you, I want you so bad it's driving me mad.
-Life could be a dream, if you would tell me I'm the only one that you love.
-If it feels this good getting used, than just keep on using me until you use me up.
-Boy, you've left me speechless
-You've popped my heart seams
-I only wanna be with you
-Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one
-It cannot wait, I'm yours
-Scootch on over closer dear and I will nibble your ear.
-The magic word is any word so just say it.
-I only have eyes for you.
-My perscription isnt quite 20\20 but you're the only thing thats focused in my view.
-If you grew to be too old and scared to dream I would whisper the wills of the things you once believed in.

When obsessed with a man, what is a girl to do?